Harriette Cole: Are you kidding me? The wife who wants to date doesn’t deserve sympathy

DEAR HARRIETTE I read your column in my newspaper every day and normally I agree with the advice you offer However your response to Wife s Guilt sent me into orbit Related Articles Harriette Cole My cousin inferred his wife s lies about me Harriette Cole My friend is getting odd texts and she says I need to intervene Harriette Cole He says he wasn t himself on our disastrous first date Must I give him another chance Harriette Cole My co-workers don t know this secret about our horrible boss Harriette Cole We re supposed to return to the office and that s a difficulty for me This woman has a husband with dementia and now she wants to date Are you kidding me What part of until death do us part does she not understand Your advice to talk to a counselor and join a endorsement group was smart but you really let her off the hook for being such a selfish witch She d better hope for more caring people in her own life if she finds herself in a similar situation someday Unbelievable DEAR UNBELIEVABLE Thank you for sharing your opinion with such candor I totally get your perspective Personally I agree with you An acquaintance of mine was the caregiver for his wife with Alzheimer s and he had a lover who helped care for her He was masses about his decision to move on I was uncomfortable with his choice especially making it everyone else s business That noted I did a lot of research before answering the person who wrote in What I learned was how harrowing and lonely life can be for the caregiver of a spouse with dementia Their world often narrows tremendously too often leading to mental and physical illness I am not encouraging the idea of having a lover but I do have tremendous compassion for the caregiver who is going through this situation DEAR HARRIETTE My oldest daughter is preparing to head to college in the fall She has worked so hard over the years as a learner and as a sister Her father and I spent a lot of our time working and she picked up the slack with her two younger siblings She never complained and reliably made us proud with her grades and her kind heart She s earned a scholarship from her dream school which covers tuition but not room and board Although she hasn t commented so I know she s been looking forward to being on her own for a change I want to help make this happen but even with her scholarship tour and year-round lodging are expensive My husband and I are considering taking out a second mortgage on our home but we wonder if this is worth going further into debt for especially when we still have two other children who will also be going to college eventually Would a local or more affordable school be so bad I don t want to disappoint my daughter but I feel torn Indebted Mom Related Articles Dear Abby My gaslighting husband explained the police came to our house because of what I did I didn t make these Sam s Club purchases and I have the perfect alibi United Airlines changed our flight and now we can t make our connection Asking Eric I didn t realize my family was following my comments online Harriette Cole My cousin supposed his wife s lies about me DEAR INDEBTED MOM Talk to your daughter Encourage her to consider a state school which is likely much more affordable if only for the reduced passage Look into whether you can afford to help her get an apartment if she stays at home so that she can have selected independence If she is set on this other school consider learner loans Yes they have to be repaid but they do make it viable for students to matriculate and pay for their development over time She should also look for more scholarships from other businesses and organizations there are lots out there if you search Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions toaskharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO